Friends, I need your help. That Proverbs 31 lady stands outside my house and shakes her head at me in dismay. Baby girl and I have been at this gig for 13 months already and I cannot get myself together enough to do more than one thing at a time. I used to like to cook and did so with fairly decent results. I scrubbed and diced fresh ingredients and cleaned up afterward. Now I'm lucky if I can nuke a potato and manage to get the plate in the dishwasher.
I am TERRIBLE when it comes to meal planning. I don't even know what meals to plan anymore. I'm trying to be extra frugal since Manny is yet again laid off, but many of the recipes on the "frugal" sites are based on condensed soup and onion soup mix - dairy and MSG are no-nos in this house.
Please, please give me your tips, suggestions and recipes. There has to be a way to prepare healthy, tasty, economical meals on a budget that do not require every pot in the house. Right?
Oh yes, another caveat: I cannot do prep during naptime. I am lucky if this child naps once a day, and when she does I have to stay with her. She absolutely refuses solitary sleep, and by the time I finally get her out (which takes some doing) I'm not going to risk waking her by slipping away. It just doesn't work. This is my life.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Good Reads for Moms of Girls
This post is from the blog of a young Orthodox Jewish mother living in Israel. While our religions are sadly not the same, this young woman and I share many points of view when it comes to parenting. She often posts about things that have been bouncing round inside my own brain, this topic included. If any other like minded moms have any further reading material to recommend, particularly regarding raising girls in this declining culture, I'd love to hear about it.
**Bonus points for suggestions that do not include some sort of Victorian repristination. While that is all well and good if someone really likes the Victorian era, I am not convinced that idealizing another historical time period that was just as sin riddled as this one really accomplishes a whole lot.
**Bonus points for suggestions that do not include some sort of Victorian repristination. While that is all well and good if someone really likes the Victorian era, I am not convinced that idealizing another historical time period that was just as sin riddled as this one really accomplishes a whole lot.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Hard Times Come Again No More
Manny has been laid off indefinitely for the second time in a year. We know the Lord will provide but this is still nervewracking for me. When I was working it wasn't such a big deal. Even though we have emergency funds put by we still have no idea how long this latest dry spell will last. I sometimes wish that he could find salaried work even if it meant a lower annual gross. Not being able to adequately plan drives me crazy. When things like this happen I always think in the back of my mind that I might have to go back to work. And the thought of leaving my daughter sends me into tears. Sucketh much for the woman to be the sole degreed adult in the household - and I never thought something like that would ever fly out of my head.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Craptastic Day
It has been one of those days. In fact, it has been one of those days all week. Baby girl is 9 months and has 8 teeth already, every one of them hard fought. She is now currently working on the molars of doom. We just had an inconsolable screaming bout, the likes of which have not been seen since the bucket car seat was in use. Mercifully she is now sleeping and I pray God that she will stay that way for just a little while. Naps are a joke and nighttime sleep isn't much better. Her most favored comfort - nursing - seems to cause her pain as well. I can't tell you how much I hate not being able to help her feel better. Pray for us!!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Derelict Blogger
That would be me. I'm still here and all is well. I happen to have an extremely high needs baby. E is attached to my personage in various ways 24/7. I am not exaggerating when I say that. I don't get a break even when she naps, as she won't sleep without me next to her. When she does sleep, it is only after she has fought getting there like a mortal enemy. My girl doesn't want to miss anything. As my gramma used to say, "I'm a woman who minds me own business - and everybody else's!"
In any event, I'm back in business thanks to an inexpensive little baby computer that now lives next to my bed. There's only so much Fox News and Discovery Channel one can watch while the baby sleeps. I tried reading but the page turning bothered E. Yes, she's that sensitive. The sound of paper turning over would cause her to wake, but the TV and computer don't bother her. I don't think I'll ever figure it out but there ya have it.
If anyone is still out there checking this site out once in a while - thank you! I hope to be around more often now.
In any event, I'm back in business thanks to an inexpensive little baby computer that now lives next to my bed. There's only so much Fox News and Discovery Channel one can watch while the baby sleeps. I tried reading but the page turning bothered E. Yes, she's that sensitive. The sound of paper turning over would cause her to wake, but the TV and computer don't bother her. I don't think I'll ever figure it out but there ya have it.
If anyone is still out there checking this site out once in a while - thank you! I hope to be around more often now.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Attention Babywearers
Babywearing has become really important to me. It is the only way I can get anything done. When big government attempts to needlessly reduce my choice as a consumer as well as put many skilled women out of business it ticks me off. If you haven't visited TBW in a while (or ever) they have a most upsetting news brief:
(copied from TBW website for the link averse)
(Of course, if you live in my illustrious State, you have to wait to find out who the highest bidder is until you write said Senator. I <3 Patrick Fitzgerald.)
(copied from TBW website for the link averse)
| TBW Statement Opposing the Consumer Product Safety Commission Improvement Act |
| There is little more important than keeping children safe. However, The Babywearer is gravely concerned about the impact of the pending Consumer Product Safety Commission Improvement Act. We believe that if this Act is enforced, there will be serious economic consequences on the child/baby product industry, and specifically to manufacturers of babycarriers. The Act would require ALL manufacturers - including small business owners who sew their products by hand and artisans who sell to help support their art - to submit each piece of their product for cost-prohibitive government-approved testing. Each component - buttons, threads, fabrics, padding, etc. would need to be tested independently for lead content. The cost and extent of this lead testing would be impossible for any small business to afford. Thousands of small businesses will be forced to close. Consumers will have fewer products to choose from. In the babycarrier world, the only products that will remain will be ones those that are manufactured en masse - and are widely considered inferior to those made in smaller quantities. The date that CPSIA is set to be enforced has already earned a nickname by many experts: "National Bankruptcy Day." Please write to your Senators and Congressperson and express your concern about the CPSIA. More information: Petition: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/e...SIA/index.html About the bill: http://www.cpsc.gov/ABOUT/Cpsia/legislation.html Read more about what's being dubbed National Bankruptcy Day here: http://nationalbankruptcyday.com/ |
(Of course, if you live in my illustrious State, you have to wait to find out who the highest bidder is until you write said Senator. I <3 Patrick Fitzgerald.)
Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale
I've promised to tell it and so I will. Here is the story of E's long but satisfying birth at home.
I was really hoping I had signed up for the three hour tour but someone mistakenly switched my booking for the thirty-six hour one. It all started with an urgent trip to the bathroom at 1:00 AM on Monday, August 19th. At 9 days overdue I was not sure whether this trip was intestinal in nature or baby in nature. When the cramping had not subsided an hour later, Manny woke up and had the very good sense to start timing them. Labor seemed to be hitting me like a Mack truck. The contractions were coming three to five minutes apart. The Practice had told us to call when one or more of three things had occurred: if your water breaks, when you are contracting 3 - 5 minutes apart or if there is any bright red bleeding. Being exceedingly good at following directions, I called the emergency answering service and Favorite Doctor returned my call shortly thereafter - just a little after 3:00 AM for those keeping score. The Practice has three doctors who deliver babies. Though I like all three doctors, Favorite Doctor is the one that I'd seen the most for prenatal visits and with whom I felt most comfortable. He had said that he hoped he'd be on call when my time came as it turned out he lives only 15 minutes from our house.
The doctor assured me that everything sounded normal and said that he would call the on-call nurse to come check me. While awaiting the nurse's arrival I called my mom. She took our dog back to her house where my dad was preparing to dog-sit and pace. When she returned, she and Manny did a lightning quick clean of the house, at 4:00 AM no less. An hour later Debbie, the on-call nurse, arrived. She checked me and found that despite hard and consistent contractions I was only 1 cm dilated. Manny scrambled us eggs for breakfast and we chatted with Debbie for awhile. After breakfast Debbie called the doctor to let him know what she had found. He asked her to stay until around noon and then check me again.
We decided it would be best to try and get a little rest. Which is totally possible if your uterus isn't squeezing itself every three minutes. So while Manny and Debbie slept, I tossed and turned and my mom ran to the store for provisions. After a bit, Debbie asked if we'd like to go for a walk around the block. I'd stopped timing the contractions by this point but after our walk Debbie estimated that they were about 5 minutes apart. By this time it was nearing noon and time for another check. After all the work my body had been doing I had hoped for a better outcome than not quite 2 cm. After reporting this to the doctor, it was decided that at that point there was nothing more to do but wait. Debbie left, however if things seemed to get more intense I was to call The Practice and Favorite Doctor would stop by on his way home.
At this point I phoned Barb, Doula #1. There is a group of doulas that work with The Practice who are midwifery students that trade their services for the opportunity to log clinical hours at births. The two doulas that helped me live close to each other and often tag-team their clients for childcare purposes. Barb asked how I was feeling, and given the fact that I was still fairly lucid, she urged me to get as much rest as I could. She also told me how to deal with the contractions. We decided to let things ride for a little while, but if I felt that I needed support I should call back and either her or Mandy, Doula #2 would come depending on what time it was.
The contractions, still consistent and intense, remained that way throughout the afternoon. I was unable to get any sleep. I remember lying in bed with Jeopardy! on in the background trying to distract myself by answering as many questions as I could. Manny kept me company but there really wasn't much that he could do to make me feel better. I was beginning to feel battered by the contractions that didn't show any sign of slowing down or speeding up. By 5:00 PM I was sufficiently miserable so as to warrant another phone call to Barb. It was difficult for me to talk on the phone at this point, so my mom did most of the talking. Barb was teaching a childbirth class that evening so it was decided that if I needed someone there before 9:00 PM, I should call Mandy. Barb did say that things must have been picking up as she said it was like speaking with a completely different woman than the one she had spoken to midday. At 7:00 PM my mom called Mandy as I was tired, miserable, and did not know what else to do. Mandy was on her way to our house shortly thereafter, though not before telling Manny to get me in the shower to try to ease some of the pain.
Mandy has an incredibly calming aura about her. As soon as she walked into the house we knew everything would be okay. I was in the bedroom and when she came in she immediately put her hands on me. We talked for a bit, which helped calm me down. It was such a comfort to have someone there who knew exactly what I was going through and was able to bolster my confidence in what my body could do. She suggested that she check me to see what kind of progress had been made and then consider our options depending on the outcome. It turned out I was only a very loose 2cm, nearly 3 but not quite. Mandy said that what I most needed at this point was rest. In order to accomplish that she sat with me while she sent Manny to pour me a very generous glass of red wine. That was the best possible medicine for me at that point. The wine did it's job splendidly and after I had started to relax Mandy gave me the most wonderful massage I have ever had. She knew exactly which acupressure points to hit to make painfully coiled muscles uncurl. When I was drifting off to sleep, she went to talk to my mom and Manny and told them that in a few hours things would pick back up again but I would better be able to deal with it in a rested state.
At 12:00 AM it began all over again - only worse. My mom called Barb, who arrived about an hour later. She checked me again, and I was not quite to 4cm. Barb's particular area of expertise is aromatherapy. She set paper towels that had been laced with lavender and sage essential oils all around the bedroom. Then she went about fixing me some eggs and toast. I was not able to feed myself, so Barb and my mom took turns getting food and juice into me bite by bite. I think I ate more Jell-O that night than any other time I can remember.
Sometime during those wee hours of the morning Barb and my mom contacted The Practice again and Debbie came back. My mom was helping me to get to the bathroom and I began to shake uncontrollably. I was sitting on the toilet near to convulsions, and I remember both Barb and Debbie asking me if I was cold. I managed to say that I wasn't, and I think one of the ladies had to keep poor Manny from calling 911 because he was so freaked out. Hormones, gotta love 'em. I remember that I was trying to tell them something, but for the next while I was speaking in tongues well enough to give any Pentecostal a run for their money. Debbie and my mom got me into the bathtub. I sat in there for a while convinced that I just could not do it anymore. I began to doubt that I would ever have this baby and feared that I was going to have to go to the hospital. Debbie was actually a bit excited that I was feeling this way, as it is usually a good sign that transition is occurring. Debbie, Barb, and my mom kept encouraging me and telling me that I could do it. I know that Debbie called the on-call doctor, which at that time was not Favorite Doctor. On-Call Doctor told Debbie to check me again to see how far things had come. Once back in the bedroom the check revealed that I was only at 6cm.
Barb and Debbie had been sure I had hit transition. But my body refused to do things in a predictable manner. Barb helped get me into another labor position that she hoped would help speed things along. She had me straddle a chair next to the bed while leaning into a pile of pillows. It did help make the contractions more manageable, but it made it more difficult for her to check the fetal heart tones. The doulas and the nurse used a fetal stethoscope to do this instead of a handheld doppler. While Debbie made a return call to the doctor, Barb checked the baby's heartbeat. At first she could not find it, and then a very strange look came over her face, causing my mom momentary panic. Then Barb let out a great laugh and said that in all her years of experience she had never heard such a thing. She said that she was sure it was either intestine or bowel sounds, but what she was hearing through the scope was "Neener neener neener." My mom and I looked at each other, laughed, and said, "Nope, that's definitely this baby."
By this time the sun was coming up on August 20th. I don't know precisely the time that the doctor arrived, but I was so glad to see that Favorite Doctor was there. He brought Christine, the Certified Nurse Midwife, with him to replace Debbie whose time on-call had been up for a couple of hours. Debbie kept hoping that the baby would come while she was there but finally she had to leave. Favorite Doctor walked around the house with Manny for a while, and discovered that we had purchased an inflatable kiddie pool just in case I decided that I wanted to labor or birth in the water. The doctor was really excited to see it and said, "What are we waiting for? Let's get her in there!" He helped Manny set it up in the family room and as soon all was ready in I went. I was 8cm when I got in and the water really was a tremendous relief. Everyone, the doctor included, kept trying to feed me and get juice down me to keep my energy up. I must have been in there for about an hour because after another check I was 9cm and effaced to the point where they told me to start pushing if I felt like it. With the next few contractions I tried to push and after a few tries my water finally broke.
They changed my position until I was hanging over the edge of the tub to see if that would help the baby past the bones. After a bit, they told me that it is sometimes difficult for first time moms to push in the water as it can alter the feel of it and the muscles have to learn what to do. So out of the tub and back into bed I went.
I was so tired. Manny was behind me in bed and after every push I'd fall back against him convinced that I couldn't do it again. The doctor, Barb and Christine knew exactly what to tell me to keep me going. It seemed with every push they would tell me that the next one would bring the baby. After hearing this numerous times and still no baby, I asked, "Please, just tell me how much longer. Really. I just have to know." To which they would tell me "You're so close!" They had been telling me for a while that this baby had more hair than they had ever seen before. To which I finally replied, "I don't care, just get this kid out!" My energy was really flagging. Fortunately, Christine, the CNM who came with the doctor, happens to be a triathlete and had something called "Goo" in her bag. She squeezed the stuff into me, and when it hit the bloodstream a minute later I got the second wind I needed. Not long after that E was finally born, yelling all the way.
They immediately put her on my chest so that Manny could see whether we had an Ozzie or Harriet. Everyone else knew what she was but me, and they kept telling me to look at what we had. "I don't have my glasses!" I said. I'm blind as two bats without them. My mom handed them to me and I was overjoyed to see my baby girl.
From that point on we were not separated. Being that E was a sturdy, 8.5lb baby I wound up with a decent tear. I was amazed to find that the hormones lived up to their advertisement because I simply didn't care. That and I was exhausted. But E is worth every agonizing minute it took to get her here and I am so grateful for the wonderful support from my husband, mom, and caregivers. Without that support I would have given up and most likely would not have had the positive experience that I did.
I was really hoping I had signed up for the three hour tour but someone mistakenly switched my booking for the thirty-six hour one. It all started with an urgent trip to the bathroom at 1:00 AM on Monday, August 19th. At 9 days overdue I was not sure whether this trip was intestinal in nature or baby in nature. When the cramping had not subsided an hour later, Manny woke up and had the very good sense to start timing them. Labor seemed to be hitting me like a Mack truck. The contractions were coming three to five minutes apart. The Practice had told us to call when one or more of three things had occurred: if your water breaks, when you are contracting 3 - 5 minutes apart or if there is any bright red bleeding. Being exceedingly good at following directions, I called the emergency answering service and Favorite Doctor returned my call shortly thereafter - just a little after 3:00 AM for those keeping score. The Practice has three doctors who deliver babies. Though I like all three doctors, Favorite Doctor is the one that I'd seen the most for prenatal visits and with whom I felt most comfortable. He had said that he hoped he'd be on call when my time came as it turned out he lives only 15 minutes from our house.
The doctor assured me that everything sounded normal and said that he would call the on-call nurse to come check me. While awaiting the nurse's arrival I called my mom. She took our dog back to her house where my dad was preparing to dog-sit and pace. When she returned, she and Manny did a lightning quick clean of the house, at 4:00 AM no less. An hour later Debbie, the on-call nurse, arrived. She checked me and found that despite hard and consistent contractions I was only 1 cm dilated. Manny scrambled us eggs for breakfast and we chatted with Debbie for awhile. After breakfast Debbie called the doctor to let him know what she had found. He asked her to stay until around noon and then check me again.
We decided it would be best to try and get a little rest. Which is totally possible if your uterus isn't squeezing itself every three minutes. So while Manny and Debbie slept, I tossed and turned and my mom ran to the store for provisions. After a bit, Debbie asked if we'd like to go for a walk around the block. I'd stopped timing the contractions by this point but after our walk Debbie estimated that they were about 5 minutes apart. By this time it was nearing noon and time for another check. After all the work my body had been doing I had hoped for a better outcome than not quite 2 cm. After reporting this to the doctor, it was decided that at that point there was nothing more to do but wait. Debbie left, however if things seemed to get more intense I was to call The Practice and Favorite Doctor would stop by on his way home.
At this point I phoned Barb, Doula #1. There is a group of doulas that work with The Practice who are midwifery students that trade their services for the opportunity to log clinical hours at births. The two doulas that helped me live close to each other and often tag-team their clients for childcare purposes. Barb asked how I was feeling, and given the fact that I was still fairly lucid, she urged me to get as much rest as I could. She also told me how to deal with the contractions. We decided to let things ride for a little while, but if I felt that I needed support I should call back and either her or Mandy, Doula #2 would come depending on what time it was.
The contractions, still consistent and intense, remained that way throughout the afternoon. I was unable to get any sleep. I remember lying in bed with Jeopardy! on in the background trying to distract myself by answering as many questions as I could. Manny kept me company but there really wasn't much that he could do to make me feel better. I was beginning to feel battered by the contractions that didn't show any sign of slowing down or speeding up. By 5:00 PM I was sufficiently miserable so as to warrant another phone call to Barb. It was difficult for me to talk on the phone at this point, so my mom did most of the talking. Barb was teaching a childbirth class that evening so it was decided that if I needed someone there before 9:00 PM, I should call Mandy. Barb did say that things must have been picking up as she said it was like speaking with a completely different woman than the one she had spoken to midday. At 7:00 PM my mom called Mandy as I was tired, miserable, and did not know what else to do. Mandy was on her way to our house shortly thereafter, though not before telling Manny to get me in the shower to try to ease some of the pain.
Mandy has an incredibly calming aura about her. As soon as she walked into the house we knew everything would be okay. I was in the bedroom and when she came in she immediately put her hands on me. We talked for a bit, which helped calm me down. It was such a comfort to have someone there who knew exactly what I was going through and was able to bolster my confidence in what my body could do. She suggested that she check me to see what kind of progress had been made and then consider our options depending on the outcome. It turned out I was only a very loose 2cm, nearly 3 but not quite. Mandy said that what I most needed at this point was rest. In order to accomplish that she sat with me while she sent Manny to pour me a very generous glass of red wine. That was the best possible medicine for me at that point. The wine did it's job splendidly and after I had started to relax Mandy gave me the most wonderful massage I have ever had. She knew exactly which acupressure points to hit to make painfully coiled muscles uncurl. When I was drifting off to sleep, she went to talk to my mom and Manny and told them that in a few hours things would pick back up again but I would better be able to deal with it in a rested state.
At 12:00 AM it began all over again - only worse. My mom called Barb, who arrived about an hour later. She checked me again, and I was not quite to 4cm. Barb's particular area of expertise is aromatherapy. She set paper towels that had been laced with lavender and sage essential oils all around the bedroom. Then she went about fixing me some eggs and toast. I was not able to feed myself, so Barb and my mom took turns getting food and juice into me bite by bite. I think I ate more Jell-O that night than any other time I can remember.
Sometime during those wee hours of the morning Barb and my mom contacted The Practice again and Debbie came back. My mom was helping me to get to the bathroom and I began to shake uncontrollably. I was sitting on the toilet near to convulsions, and I remember both Barb and Debbie asking me if I was cold. I managed to say that I wasn't, and I think one of the ladies had to keep poor Manny from calling 911 because he was so freaked out. Hormones, gotta love 'em. I remember that I was trying to tell them something, but for the next while I was speaking in tongues well enough to give any Pentecostal a run for their money. Debbie and my mom got me into the bathtub. I sat in there for a while convinced that I just could not do it anymore. I began to doubt that I would ever have this baby and feared that I was going to have to go to the hospital. Debbie was actually a bit excited that I was feeling this way, as it is usually a good sign that transition is occurring. Debbie, Barb, and my mom kept encouraging me and telling me that I could do it. I know that Debbie called the on-call doctor, which at that time was not Favorite Doctor. On-Call Doctor told Debbie to check me again to see how far things had come. Once back in the bedroom the check revealed that I was only at 6cm.
Barb and Debbie had been sure I had hit transition. But my body refused to do things in a predictable manner. Barb helped get me into another labor position that she hoped would help speed things along. She had me straddle a chair next to the bed while leaning into a pile of pillows. It did help make the contractions more manageable, but it made it more difficult for her to check the fetal heart tones. The doulas and the nurse used a fetal stethoscope to do this instead of a handheld doppler. While Debbie made a return call to the doctor, Barb checked the baby's heartbeat. At first she could not find it, and then a very strange look came over her face, causing my mom momentary panic. Then Barb let out a great laugh and said that in all her years of experience she had never heard such a thing. She said that she was sure it was either intestine or bowel sounds, but what she was hearing through the scope was "Neener neener neener." My mom and I looked at each other, laughed, and said, "Nope, that's definitely this baby."
By this time the sun was coming up on August 20th. I don't know precisely the time that the doctor arrived, but I was so glad to see that Favorite Doctor was there. He brought Christine, the Certified Nurse Midwife, with him to replace Debbie whose time on-call had been up for a couple of hours. Debbie kept hoping that the baby would come while she was there but finally she had to leave. Favorite Doctor walked around the house with Manny for a while, and discovered that we had purchased an inflatable kiddie pool just in case I decided that I wanted to labor or birth in the water. The doctor was really excited to see it and said, "What are we waiting for? Let's get her in there!" He helped Manny set it up in the family room and as soon all was ready in I went. I was 8cm when I got in and the water really was a tremendous relief. Everyone, the doctor included, kept trying to feed me and get juice down me to keep my energy up. I must have been in there for about an hour because after another check I was 9cm and effaced to the point where they told me to start pushing if I felt like it. With the next few contractions I tried to push and after a few tries my water finally broke.
They changed my position until I was hanging over the edge of the tub to see if that would help the baby past the bones. After a bit, they told me that it is sometimes difficult for first time moms to push in the water as it can alter the feel of it and the muscles have to learn what to do. So out of the tub and back into bed I went.
I was so tired. Manny was behind me in bed and after every push I'd fall back against him convinced that I couldn't do it again. The doctor, Barb and Christine knew exactly what to tell me to keep me going. It seemed with every push they would tell me that the next one would bring the baby. After hearing this numerous times and still no baby, I asked, "Please, just tell me how much longer. Really. I just have to know." To which they would tell me "You're so close!" They had been telling me for a while that this baby had more hair than they had ever seen before. To which I finally replied, "I don't care, just get this kid out!" My energy was really flagging. Fortunately, Christine, the CNM who came with the doctor, happens to be a triathlete and had something called "Goo" in her bag. She squeezed the stuff into me, and when it hit the bloodstream a minute later I got the second wind I needed. Not long after that E was finally born, yelling all the way.
They immediately put her on my chest so that Manny could see whether we had an Ozzie or Harriet. Everyone else knew what she was but me, and they kept telling me to look at what we had. "I don't have my glasses!" I said. I'm blind as two bats without them. My mom handed them to me and I was overjoyed to see my baby girl.
From that point on we were not separated. Being that E was a sturdy, 8.5lb baby I wound up with a decent tear. I was amazed to find that the hormones lived up to their advertisement because I simply didn't care. That and I was exhausted. But E is worth every agonizing minute it took to get her here and I am so grateful for the wonderful support from my husband, mom, and caregivers. Without that support I would have given up and most likely would not have had the positive experience that I did.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
My Very Own Sanitarium
Every man, woman and child in this house is sick. Fortunately that does not include the dog - yet. E's version of my little rhinovirus began Saturday morning at 2AM. I was hoping that breastfeeding would prevent her from contracting it, but sadly such was not the case. I am hoping that the course of it is shorter and milder than the one I am now recovering from.
This comes on the heels of her 3 month old checkup on Thursday. I am happy to report that she now weighs 13lbs 1oz and is 24" long. She was supposed to get her first vaccination but the doctor's office was waiting for a shipment of the DTaP to come in. That turned out to be a good thing, since her little immune system would have been overwhelmed between the vax and the cold. We are delaying and selectively vaxing. Our doctor did not want to start any vaxes with her until 3 months, and every time she does receive a shot it will be one at a time so as to hopefully prevent reactions and more easily identify them if they do occur.
I have been working on E's birth story for the past two weeks. One of these days it will be done and I will post it. I knew that motherhood required 24/7 devotion, but I hadn't a clue as to how all-consuming it could possibly be. That's not a complaint though. I am trying to enjoy every moment I have with her - even the difficult ones. Now that the crazies seem to be behind me I am much better equipped to do so!
This comes on the heels of her 3 month old checkup on Thursday. I am happy to report that she now weighs 13lbs 1oz and is 24" long. She was supposed to get her first vaccination but the doctor's office was waiting for a shipment of the DTaP to come in. That turned out to be a good thing, since her little immune system would have been overwhelmed between the vax and the cold. We are delaying and selectively vaxing. Our doctor did not want to start any vaxes with her until 3 months, and every time she does receive a shot it will be one at a time so as to hopefully prevent reactions and more easily identify them if they do occur.
I have been working on E's birth story for the past two weeks. One of these days it will be done and I will post it. I knew that motherhood required 24/7 devotion, but I hadn't a clue as to how all-consuming it could possibly be. That's not a complaint though. I am trying to enjoy every moment I have with her - even the difficult ones. Now that the crazies seem to be behind me I am much better equipped to do so!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Nutrition
How to prepare a balanced lunch:
1) Hold baby that will not sleep anywhere but on mom in non-dominant arm. (Kick yourself for not popping her in the Beco before she fell asleep.)
2) With dominant hand, take out the staple frijoles refritos and tortillas from refrigerator. Go back for the mini-cupcakes on the higher shelf and set on counter for later consumption.
3) With dominant hand, open container of beans and spoon into bowl to be microwaved. Warm tortillas on the comal. Be sure to stand 2 feet back from the stove and sideways so that sleeping baby does not come anywhere near the flame producing appliance.
4) Eat standing up. Call family dog to clean detritus that is not caught by sleeping baby's onesie.
As I finished my lunch today, I realized my meal was nearly nutritionally complete. All that was missing was something green. Then I realized that that's what the sprinkles on the cupcakes are for!
1) Hold baby that will not sleep anywhere but on mom in non-dominant arm. (Kick yourself for not popping her in the Beco before she fell asleep.)
2) With dominant hand, take out the staple frijoles refritos and tortillas from refrigerator. Go back for the mini-cupcakes on the higher shelf and set on counter for later consumption.
3) With dominant hand, open container of beans and spoon into bowl to be microwaved. Warm tortillas on the comal. Be sure to stand 2 feet back from the stove and sideways so that sleeping baby does not come anywhere near the flame producing appliance.
4) Eat standing up. Call family dog to clean detritus that is not caught by sleeping baby's onesie.
As I finished my lunch today, I realized my meal was nearly nutritionally complete. All that was missing was something green. Then I realized that that's what the sprinkles on the cupcakes are for!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My Marbles...I Have Found Them
Well most of them anyway. E is now 8 weeks old and the postpartum gloom and doom has mostly subsided. She is gaining well now and the nursing is much more relaxed. And no, she is not sleeping through the night, fact of which most people are surprised to learn. Then I have to launch into the explanation of how breastmilk digests more quickly than formula and for that reason she still feels the need to eat every 3 hours at night.
E simply detests her car seat. The only way I can get errands done is because of my Beco Butterfly. E loves to be held and worn. She is sleeping on me right now in the wrap. If I could figure out how to nurse in these carriers I'd be golden. Since that hasn't happened yet my house is still a wreck. Oh well!
We were able to get back to church at the 5 week point. I gained a whole new appreciation for the liturgy as it is so handy not to have to hold a "worship folder" in order to participate. When things are the same every week you can sing along without having to follow the latest and greatest bouncing ball. E is very well behaved in church. She loves the music and only gets fussy when the singing stops. I've had to nurse her twice so I take us off the ladies room and do it there. There isn't really any good place to do otherwise and I figured the ladies room is better than the wide open church basement.
The last couple of weeks I've actually been having fun with my baby. The first 6 weeks I agonized over the fact that I was so anxious and miserable that I couldn't appreciate her. We are rewarded with the greatest smiles and faces. She's been social smiling since 3.5 weeks. She almost has full head and neck control and loves to dance.
Naptime is over so off I go.
E simply detests her car seat. The only way I can get errands done is because of my Beco Butterfly. E loves to be held and worn. She is sleeping on me right now in the wrap. If I could figure out how to nurse in these carriers I'd be golden. Since that hasn't happened yet my house is still a wreck. Oh well!
We were able to get back to church at the 5 week point. I gained a whole new appreciation for the liturgy as it is so handy not to have to hold a "worship folder" in order to participate. When things are the same every week you can sing along without having to follow the latest and greatest bouncing ball. E is very well behaved in church. She loves the music and only gets fussy when the singing stops. I've had to nurse her twice so I take us off the ladies room and do it there. There isn't really any good place to do otherwise and I figured the ladies room is better than the wide open church basement.
The last couple of weeks I've actually been having fun with my baby. The first 6 weeks I agonized over the fact that I was so anxious and miserable that I couldn't appreciate her. We are rewarded with the greatest smiles and faces. She's been social smiling since 3.5 weeks. She almost has full head and neck control and loves to dance.
Naptime is over so off I go.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Update
We took E to the LC yesterday for a weight check. Thank God, she was up 2 more ounces. The LC told us to continue the super switching but to reduce the pumping to every other feeding. The hope is that my supply has increased to the point where E alone will be able to maintain it, provided that she stays active. Tomorrow we go to the doctor for a weight check. If she has gained then we might be able to drop the pumping altogether. If not, well, I don't want to think about it. I was able to get two consecutive hours of sleep last night which is more than I've had at one time since going into labor. Hopefully things will continue to improve. For now tomorrow is the next hurdle.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
No Rest for the Weary
E and I were so good at being pregnant. It seems that since whichever one of our biological processes ended that relationship everything has gone cattywampus. Currently we are winding our way through lactational hell, or if not hell, then purgatory at the very least. The Friday after we left the hospital our doctor weighed E at the office and was pleased to see that she had regained her birthweight. I left with instructions to keep doing exactly what I had been doing. Fast forward exactly one week later (last Friday for those keeping score) and another visit to the doctor revealed that E had lost weight. Of course I felt like the worst mother in the world, but the doctor seemed to think that it was a supply issue and that with help from the lactation consultant things would turn around.
Saturday we had a visit from our lovely LC. This woman has helped maintain my sanity in more ways than I can count. Essentially, E is a lazy so-and-so. She does not like to work for her food and likes to fall asleep mid-meal. Because she wasn't feeding vigorously enough my body responded by decreasing production. In order to try to increase my supply, I have to nurse her on one side for 10 minutes, switch to the other side for another 10, then rinse and repeat for 5 minutes per side. Then after that is done I pump for another 10. During and in between these switches I have to try to keep E awake. This entails baby sit-ups, poking the feet, flicking the ear, and wet washcloths on the back. The whole process takes about an hour. Then I have an hour to an hour and a half before I have to start all over again. E does get whatever I pump by bottle once I've collected an ounce, so that occasionally adds another step. But, praise God, as of yesterday she had gained back 2.5 ounces when the LC checked her weight.
I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. My body is wearing out and I'm getting an upper respiratory thing to prove it. If it weren't for my mom I would not be able to do this. She watches the baby while I'm pumping or trying to get a quick shower or nap She feeds and takes care of me and the house so I can feed my baby. Honestly, I completely understand why so many women give up and do formula. I have been so tempted to chuck it all and supplement. But I'm fighting on. Tomorrow E goes for another weight check. Please pray that she gains more and that my supply continues to increase.
I feel like I am missing so much of these early days because all I am doing is serving as a dairy cow. I had so looked forward to a great nursing relationship, you know, something serene and beautiful, like the statues of the Madonna and child. That has downgraded itself into me fighting to give E the physical benefits of exclusive breastfeeding by hook or by crook. I've been praying constantly and I know that my prayers are heard - it's waiting on the answers that's hard.
Saturday we had a visit from our lovely LC. This woman has helped maintain my sanity in more ways than I can count. Essentially, E is a lazy so-and-so. She does not like to work for her food and likes to fall asleep mid-meal. Because she wasn't feeding vigorously enough my body responded by decreasing production. In order to try to increase my supply, I have to nurse her on one side for 10 minutes, switch to the other side for another 10, then rinse and repeat for 5 minutes per side. Then after that is done I pump for another 10. During and in between these switches I have to try to keep E awake. This entails baby sit-ups, poking the feet, flicking the ear, and wet washcloths on the back. The whole process takes about an hour. Then I have an hour to an hour and a half before I have to start all over again. E does get whatever I pump by bottle once I've collected an ounce, so that occasionally adds another step. But, praise God, as of yesterday she had gained back 2.5 ounces when the LC checked her weight.
I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. My body is wearing out and I'm getting an upper respiratory thing to prove it. If it weren't for my mom I would not be able to do this. She watches the baby while I'm pumping or trying to get a quick shower or nap She feeds and takes care of me and the house so I can feed my baby. Honestly, I completely understand why so many women give up and do formula. I have been so tempted to chuck it all and supplement. But I'm fighting on. Tomorrow E goes for another weight check. Please pray that she gains more and that my supply continues to increase.
I feel like I am missing so much of these early days because all I am doing is serving as a dairy cow. I had so looked forward to a great nursing relationship, you know, something serene and beautiful, like the statues of the Madonna and child. That has downgraded itself into me fighting to give E the physical benefits of exclusive breastfeeding by hook or by crook. I've been praying constantly and I know that my prayers are heard - it's waiting on the answers that's hard.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
God's Own Child, I Gladly Say It
Since the little one has come it's been a wild ride indeed. To make things less complicated we'll call her "E." Last Sunday night when E was four days old we had to rush her to the ER. We knew that she was jaundiced, but the postpartum nurses that had checked on us every day since the birth assured us it was nothing more than normal physiological jaundice and with frequent nursing should have resolved itself in a week. Sunday night E became rapidly and increasingly lethargic. We called the on-call doctor for our practice and upon hearing those symptoms he advised us to take her to the nearest hospital.
The end result was that while E's billirubin levels were elevated, they were not out of the expected range for a four day old baby. She was put under the billi-lites and given IV fluids. Manny and I fought formula supplementation and I was able to nurse her exclusively. Though the hospital doctors tried to pin her problem on breastfeeding and being born at home they were unable to do so because she actually gained weight and there are many other infants her age born in hospitals that find themselves back again for just the same thing.
We had always intended to have her baptized quickly, but that Sunday night, actually early Monday morning, was a little quicker than we had bargained for. Our wonderful Pastor came on the fly and performed an emergency baptism in the ER. It was not the way that we had envisioned for our daughter to be made part of God's family. We had very much been looking forward to bringing her to the font in the presence of our brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we worship every week, as well as our families, who while they are members of the una sancta, do not share our confession of faith. But in the end, the most important thing is that E has been baptized into Christ. Should the worst have happened that night, or God forbid that it should happen any other, we have the blessed assurance that our daughter will be in heaven. It doesn't matter that the ER staff would not even provide us with so much as a bedpan to hold the water. It doesn't matter that instead of a font, the water was held in my mom's cupped hands while Pastor poured it over her head. What a comfort that God's Word is effective whether you soberly and solemnly say the Creed or are sobbing it with near hysteria knowing that your baby is suffering.
The hospital experience was trying and stressful. I was hanging on by a very thin and frayed thread. (In my defense I hadn't slept but maybe 3 hours since going into labor.) In hindsight, we are grateful that the problem was not more serious than it was. It was relatively easily resolved and she will not have any detrimental after-effects. Our doctor saw her on Friday and pronounced her "fabulous and perfectly healthy." She has even regained her birthweight. E. made a mother out of me not when she was born, but when she was in pain. If I could have, I would gladly have put myself in her place so that she would not have to suffer.
As you might imagine, all of this coupled with the postpartum hormones has made for some really fun times. God bless Manny and my mom for putting up with me as I frequently dissolve into a puddle with no good explanation. Today is the first day that I have felt somewhat back in control. We were able to figure out the Hotsling, and were able to have a productive afternoon trying to get things organized so that we can get into some sort of routine. Heretofore everything seemed willy-nilly. I am really hoping that we can get some good sleep tonight. That will be the most helpful of all as I am keenly feeling the sleep deficit incurred since the 18th of August.
I'll be back at some point to tell the tale of 36 hours of natural labor, but for right now prayers for good sleep would be much appreciated!
The end result was that while E's billirubin levels were elevated, they were not out of the expected range for a four day old baby. She was put under the billi-lites and given IV fluids. Manny and I fought formula supplementation and I was able to nurse her exclusively. Though the hospital doctors tried to pin her problem on breastfeeding and being born at home they were unable to do so because she actually gained weight and there are many other infants her age born in hospitals that find themselves back again for just the same thing.
We had always intended to have her baptized quickly, but that Sunday night, actually early Monday morning, was a little quicker than we had bargained for. Our wonderful Pastor came on the fly and performed an emergency baptism in the ER. It was not the way that we had envisioned for our daughter to be made part of God's family. We had very much been looking forward to bringing her to the font in the presence of our brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we worship every week, as well as our families, who while they are members of the una sancta, do not share our confession of faith. But in the end, the most important thing is that E has been baptized into Christ. Should the worst have happened that night, or God forbid that it should happen any other, we have the blessed assurance that our daughter will be in heaven. It doesn't matter that the ER staff would not even provide us with so much as a bedpan to hold the water. It doesn't matter that instead of a font, the water was held in my mom's cupped hands while Pastor poured it over her head. What a comfort that God's Word is effective whether you soberly and solemnly say the Creed or are sobbing it with near hysteria knowing that your baby is suffering.
The hospital experience was trying and stressful. I was hanging on by a very thin and frayed thread. (In my defense I hadn't slept but maybe 3 hours since going into labor.) In hindsight, we are grateful that the problem was not more serious than it was. It was relatively easily resolved and she will not have any detrimental after-effects. Our doctor saw her on Friday and pronounced her "fabulous and perfectly healthy." She has even regained her birthweight. E. made a mother out of me not when she was born, but when she was in pain. If I could have, I would gladly have put myself in her place so that she would not have to suffer.
As you might imagine, all of this coupled with the postpartum hormones has made for some really fun times. God bless Manny and my mom for putting up with me as I frequently dissolve into a puddle with no good explanation. Today is the first day that I have felt somewhat back in control. We were able to figure out the Hotsling, and were able to have a productive afternoon trying to get things organized so that we can get into some sort of routine. Heretofore everything seemed willy-nilly. I am really hoping that we can get some good sleep tonight. That will be the most helpful of all as I am keenly feeling the sleep deficit incurred since the 18th of August.
I'll be back at some point to tell the tale of 36 hours of natural labor, but for right now prayers for good sleep would be much appreciated!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Introducing....
Our baby girl!
Born at home 8/20/08
8 lbs. 7 oz., 21 in. long, and might I add 14 1/2 inch head circumference.
We are so thankful to the Lord for giving us this gift. She is healthy, beautiful, and nursing like a champ.
36 hours of labor total, with hard contractions from the beginning that came consistently 5 minutes apart. It was the hardest work I've ever done but well worth it in the end.
Born at home 8/20/08
8 lbs. 7 oz., 21 in. long, and might I add 14 1/2 inch head circumference.
We are so thankful to the Lord for giving us this gift. She is healthy, beautiful, and nursing like a champ.
36 hours of labor total, with hard contractions from the beginning that came consistently 5 minutes apart. It was the hardest work I've ever done but well worth it in the end.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Ride Appears to be Stuck
As we've had to tell the barrage of well-meaning callers for the past two weeks, nope, there's no baby yet. According to the doctor first babies are generally late and there isn't cause for concern yet. That being said, let's get this show on the road.
I really and truly have enjoyed being pregnant. You'll find no one else in this wide world who is more surprised about that than me. Even looking like I'm about to burst at the seams, I can't say that I have too many discomforts to speak of. I am trying to savor this last bit of time that baby is alive inside me as I may not have this opportunity again. If another baby (or babies) is in God's plan for us I am fully aware that I may not have pregnancies that are as rosy as this one has been.
As cognizant as I am of all of these things I cannot seem to curb impatience and anxiety. It's like I have the mother of all band-aids stuck to the hairiest part of my arm and I just want to pull it off already. Sitting there picking at it only makes the prospect worse. And since I'm a champion worrier anyway of course I've already considered what might happen if baby decides to hang around until 42+ weeks. None of the options are pleasant.
So I've been strapped into this ride for a while now, and it doesn't look as if it's going to get fixed anytime soon. The feeling that I might be in this state forever is no fun at all. Too bad I left my supply of patience back on the platform along with any other articles prone to falling out of pockets.
I really and truly have enjoyed being pregnant. You'll find no one else in this wide world who is more surprised about that than me. Even looking like I'm about to burst at the seams, I can't say that I have too many discomforts to speak of. I am trying to savor this last bit of time that baby is alive inside me as I may not have this opportunity again. If another baby (or babies) is in God's plan for us I am fully aware that I may not have pregnancies that are as rosy as this one has been.
As cognizant as I am of all of these things I cannot seem to curb impatience and anxiety. It's like I have the mother of all band-aids stuck to the hairiest part of my arm and I just want to pull it off already. Sitting there picking at it only makes the prospect worse. And since I'm a champion worrier anyway of course I've already considered what might happen if baby decides to hang around until 42+ weeks. None of the options are pleasant.
So I've been strapped into this ride for a while now, and it doesn't look as if it's going to get fixed anytime soon. The feeling that I might be in this state forever is no fun at all. Too bad I left my supply of patience back on the platform along with any other articles prone to falling out of pockets.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Harrowing Incline
Ever been on one of these things?
Right now I feel like I'm slowly creeping up that harrowing incline and my personage is in the middle of the train. I know the big drop is coming soon but I can't see it. I will be hurtling completely out of control, at the mercy of God and gravity. There's no turning back now, but the prospect is much more daunting up close than at the beginning of the line.
All that's left to do is wait for this.
Good times!
Right now I feel like I'm slowly creeping up that harrowing incline and my personage is in the middle of the train. I know the big drop is coming soon but I can't see it. I will be hurtling completely out of control, at the mercy of God and gravity. There's no turning back now, but the prospect is much more daunting up close than at the beginning of the line.
All that's left to do is wait for this.
Good times!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
True Love
Is when your husband forbids you to scrub out the bathtub and says he will do it when he gets home from work in the morning. Awww.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Pity Party
I seem to be having one. I really hate it when Manny has to work nights. He bears his cross of working hard so very well, especially since he's the only one bringing home the bacon anymore. It isn't the hard work aspect that bothers me, but rather these flaming awful hours. Of which there are fewer than in years past, yet it seems that we see each other less because of the wacky sleep schedule and the fact that he has to leave pretty early to get where he has to go. This has been going on since May and there has been no indication as to when things might go back to normal. I understand that any way you slice it, this is daily bread. I feel tremendously guilty whining about it. But when your baby kicks at the sound of daddy's voice, and then daddy has to leave a few minutes later only to miss so much more of baby's antics, it can really get you down. That, and I'm 9 months pregnant with no one to rub my back, and at this time of night I feel tremendously lonely. But I guess I'll look at the bright side - when baby comes I'll probably be up all night and then I'll be sleepy during the day too!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Urping in Luxury
What is it with the price of burp cloths? Even the cheap ones seem a little dear just to be regurgitated upon. Any advice from the veterans out there for what is best to use? I'm assuming these are some pretty heavily used items, and that the more will indeed make for the merrier. Has anybody sewn their own? I'm no seamstress, but Manny has some rudimentary sewing skills, so if I could score some cheap flannel from the fabric store perhaps that would be a better option?
J.J. Cole super cool mod baby stuff, I am laughing at you. Ha.
J.J. Cole super cool mod baby stuff, I am laughing at you. Ha.
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